Dazed Gazer

sassy-brain:

I JUST FOUND COMEDIC GOLD ON A PORN WEBSITE OMFG

I WAS LOOKING UP PORN TO SHOW MY ROOMMATE WHO JAMES DEEN IS AND I FOUND A GUY WHO CALLS HIMSELF LIMERICK LARRY AND HE WRITES POEMS ABOUT THE PORN VIDEOS

I CAN’T BREATHE

cashcutie:

the story of a man and his unlikely friend

should i be using condoms or birth control to prevent pregnancy?
Anonymous

kingloptr:

fruitappreciation:

omg apparently artificial banana flavoring is based on the gros michel banana which was wiped out by a banana plague in the 50s and the banana we eat today is a totally different thing called the cavendish and thats why banana candy doesnt taste like bananas do you know how lied to i feel. like there was a fucking banana apocalypse and no one told me about it until now

image

hod-the-blind:

dx11:

mancermechro:

not sure why people don’t automatically say “shapeshifting” when asked what they want their superpower to be. you could become anyone you want. even fictional characters. anyone. cosplay would always be spot-on. dysphoria wouldn’t exist. perfection

rob a bank and disguise yourself as a stray pen lying on a shelf when the cops come

A pen with a shit ton of money lying next to it.

visenyatargaryyen:

laughtercues:

kingjohnkat:

redphonebox:

just so we’re clear, i use

dude

bro

man

gurl

babe

bby

loser

as gender-neutral and affectionate names

don’t forget son

What am I forgetting dad

image

You have forgotten who you are, and so forgotten me.

lets-have-awkward-sex:

mickjaggerstinytodger:

*gets the urge to delete all my social network accounts, drop out of school and live in the woods*

you can’t just thoreau your life away like that

psychodisneyfanatic:

These two are probably the best out of all the face characters

psychodisneyfanatic:

These two are probably the best out of all the face characters

jadedkitten:

fandom-mused-fandom-games:

WAIT
WHAT
WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN
OH MY GOD 

SPREAD THE WORD

jadedkitten:

fandom-mused-fandom-games:

WAIT

WHAT

WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN

OH MY GOD 

SPREAD THE WORD

thatguyprince:

canadianslut:

I wish my name was Zoe so I could introduce myself like thisimage

SHE WILL NEVER BE PABLO

slightlyterroristic:

I can’t really argue

slightlyterroristic:

I can’t really argue

today-in-homestuck:

It’s been exactly five years since…
A young man stood in his bedroom. [04/13/09]

today-in-homestuck:

It’s been exactly five years since…

A young man stood in his bedroom. [04/13/09]

livelovehep:

sunalwaysshining:

meladoodle:

what if guys came coffee… i’ll have one ejaculatte please

I just spit out my coffee

You’re supposed to swallow it